Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.”  – Dale Carnegie

As promised, this is my second blog devoted to sharing an overview of one of the principles from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People with a practical suggestion of how it can be applied in our day-to-day interactions with others.

Part One: Fundamental Techniques of Handling People

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere feedback

In this chapter, Dale Carnegie suggests that “One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.” He speaks of how showing sincere appreciation can help us to accomplish more and literally change a person’s life. Carnegie reminds us that there are distinct differences between appreciation and flattery, among them are:

1. Sincere vs. insincere

2. From the heart out vs. from the teeth out

3. Unselfish vs. selfish

One of the many stories he shares to support this principle is about a young boy named Stevie. As the story goes, Stevie had a challenge that no one else in his classroom had, he was blind. Yet his teacher asked him to help her find a mouse that had been discovered running loose in the classroom. Now I suspect it would have been easier, and perhaps more time efficient, had she sought the assistance of a sited child. However, rather than focus on what Stevie could not do (see), she instead took the time to acknowledge something else he had that no one else in the classroom did, a remarkable sense of hearing. It was the first time someone had shown appreciation for his “gift”. This young boy is now known to the world as Stevie Wonder, one of the greatest pop vocalists and songwriters of our time!

In business, all too often we’ve become so rapt with our own desire to be important, to succeed and get the job done that we become quick to criticize, with much specificity I might add, when things go wrong. Yet when things are going well, we tend to just sprinkle a few “At a boys!”, “Great job!” and “Keep up the good work!” forgetting to give our staff (the producers) what they desire – sincere appreciation for their gifts and approval for a job well done.

Consider This- Look for opportunities to use this principle of showing appreciation to your team when coaching them. It will help to grow their confidence and sustain desired behaviors.

Lynda Fleming - Director of Learning & Development, Frontline Performance Group