Invariably, no matter how good a communicator is, there will undoubtedly be times when confusion or talking over another person creates tension in a conversation. Once this happens, natural back and forth “tempo” is disrupted and feelings of frustration can set in. You just don’t feel “in-sync” with the other person, and this can cost you sales, support and friends.

Listed below are a few simple ways to avoid discord in your interpersonal communications.

1. Always accept responsibility for any miscommunication between you and another party.

Even if the confusion or misinterpretation was legitimately caused by the other party, always take responsibility for it. In most cases, the other party knows it was their fault. By simply smiling and saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t communicate that very well” you let the other person off the hook and in the process release tension from the conversation.

2. Respond, don’t react.

It is easy to run over others in discussions when you are overly-enthusiastic, fixated on hyper-task completion or under time pressure. Although this mistake is one I still make too frequently, it is one I am working on with the help of a FPG colleague. This mistake can be overcome by following a simple rule and applying some basic courtesy. Wait. Wait two seconds until you are sure the other person is finished speaking, and then respond. Too frequently, we don’t listen and don’t recognize the other person is still completing a thought before jumping in ourselves. This results in cross-talk, and if done recurrently, tension.

3. Use the other person’s name.

A key tenant in Dale Carnegie’s interpersonal skill masterpiece, How to Win Friends and Influence People, states that a person’s name is the most important word in their vocabulary. Using it a few times in a conversation conveys your sincere interest in them, not just in the information you can extract from them. This makes conversation, however long or brief, not just informative but socially enjoyable.

These three easy steps have one common thread interwoven throughout. In order to demonstrate them consistently, you must sincerely care for the individual you are speaking with. If you don’t really care for the other person, it will be impossible to put forth this effort consistently because you will see it as just that…effort. However, if you are sincere in your desire to get along well with others, these behaviors will spring out of your efforts to do so and in the process you will create a persona of grace and professionalism.

Chris Brown - Senior Vice President, Frontline Performance Group

Last spring I was at a client location doing side-by-side coaching with a Customer Service Representative (CSR) and observed the CSR offer a service up-sell. She used incorrect language when it came time to present the cost and the customer promptly said “no.” After the customer left, we discussed in detail the proper dialogue for explaining price during a service up-sell.

A few minutes later, another customer walked into the location. The CSR offered an up-sell and when the customer asked the two magic words, “how much?” the CSR explained the price using perfect dialogue and technique. The customer said “yes” without any hesitation. The CSR completed the transaction and escorted the customer out of the store. When the CSR came back through the front door, she did not say a word. She simply looked at me and took a long, deep, theatrical bow.

Salespeople are not born, they are made. It is human nature to want to learn and grow both personally and professionally. Investing in the professional development of employees does more than allow organizational leaders to capitalize on their newly refined skills; it creates a positive environment that leads to stellar employee performance.

Don Anderson - Senior Speaker, Frontline Performance Group

Ted Williams, the Hall of Fame left fielder of the Boston Red Sox, was the last Major League Baseball player to hit .400 throughout the course of an entire season. On the final day of the 1941 season he had an opportunity to sit out a double header and ride his .3996 batting average into the record books. Completely understanding the risks associated with going to the plate, he threw caution to the wind and suited up. After an amazing 6 for 8 performance on that final day his average for the season ended at .406! Williams was the last player to break the .400 mark.

Moral of the Story: A true top performer will always risk sacrificing their individual statistics for the betterment of the team.

Ken Stellon - Senior Vice President, Frontline Performance Group